Hey friends!
I’ll be honest, I have been feeling pretty blocked lately. So what does that mean when I get blocked? I feel disconnected from myself, my soul, my purpose and I feel like I am just going through the motions of the day to day. I’m not feeling particularly negative, but I just know I’m not feeling all there, if that makes sense.
Maybe I can describe it more as like I am dissociating a bit. I think in the past I would have fallen into a bit of a depressive episode and I have to say I am really proud of myself for sticking with my routines of self care. I start off my mornings with a 10 minute meditation, followed by stretching or yoga, then some writing. Usually by this time, I’m making coffee and try to get a walk in too. During the days I work, I make sure to get in steps during my lunch break (most of my days at work have me sitting down at a desk, doing meticulous and repetitive tasks), then when I get home, I get in a workout (I have been adding weights back into my routine a few times a week) then start to either make dinner or other tasks around the house. After dinner, when the kitchen is cleaned up, that’s when I have time to breathe and create.
While all these things (morning routine, regular walks, cooking at home, creating regularly) are usually really great and absolutely contribute to my wellbeing, I’ve sort of fallen into the trap of a strict routine, which then makes these things that I normally enjoy into a chore. I haven’t had as much flexibility in my schedule as I need in order to feel as grounded. Typing this out has made me realize, it’s soccer season for my kiddo so we’re doing practice or games 3x a week and realistically, that’s roughly 2 hours each day we have that going on so NO WONDER I have been feeling so tired! I have been trying to do too much, trying to be there for everyone else, and overthinking things.
I guess I’m just at the point in my life now where I realize I NEED much more down time than I used to and I genuinely enjoy and appreciate having slow mornings and going at my own pace. While it’s still hot as heck here in central Texas, the days are shorter. I enjoy going for walks in the morning and watching the sun rise. I enjoy laying on my trampoline in the evening and watching the sun set. I also love the parts of my life like going to support my kiddo at practice or school functions, cooking meals and cleaning up when I know my husband had a long day, keeping my home feeling comfortable and clean so we can accommodate for sleepovers for the kids. I love that I have a beautiful commute to work and I get to make a lovely product that I believe in, and I work with wonderful people. I love that when I slow down, I can really, really appreciate all the wonderful things in life.
I guess I just needed to get that off my chest and honestly I do feel better. There’s lots of things going on in the world that distract me from focusing on the good sometimes and I just want to always make sure I come back around and remember how important it is for me to be present in my body and move through the world that way….Present.
I am going to write blogs more regularly. I am going to move with the flow of things instead of overthinking. I am going to create, create, create because it is what I am here to do.